PRAYER/August Blog

For about a year now, every day we have been driving by a new church under construction on our way to the Post Office. We couldn't help but notice and talk about it, as it is on a very special property. It's fairly small, but well-constructed, with a few architectural elements that are really pretty. (I love the charcoal gray paint color they selected.) We wondered what type of church it might be. We'd never heard of it. 

One day, before it officially opened, no one was around and Tim popped in to see the new interiors. There was an enthusiastic young man named Zeus in the front lobby (you can't possibly forget that name). He greeted Tim at the door and showed him around. He took him to the worship area which was a 300-seat dark room (no windows) with a step-up stage. Tim noticed the state-of-the-art sound system (we're in the "biz") and the over-the-top lighting rig, and then the well-appointed interiors in the well-lit lobby area . . . complete with a coffee bar, a living room and a children's wing. He came home from the daily Post Office run that day and said, "it's pretty neat. Maybe we should try it."

After it opened, because it is literally three miles from our house, we decided to attend a service. It was "buzzing." I'd never seen so many teenagers, young families and babies. The music was nothing like we'd ever heard. (I didn't know one song, actually.) All of the musicians on the stage were under the age of 25, and it didn't seem like they were just "hired" for the typical Sunday morning professional fee. Sure, maybe they were paid, but you could tell they were all Christians. They were all in. Rockin' out.

In the audience, there were people of all ages, young and old, singing and raising their hands, lifting and opening them in praise, all with different gestures, styles and personalities. There were so many people who were not afraid to show their love and conviction to Jesus. Everyone was almost dancing while standing and singing. The energy was over-the-top.

Here's the deal. I was so uncomfortable. Standing there in my pretty dress and high heels, it was just too much for me. I couldn't do it. I didn't fit in. I was raised in a very stoic conservative church. And as you know, Tim grew up Lutheran. (Ha! Need I say more?) We'd never seen people showing their emotions THAT MUCH. Raising hands? Looking up? Clapping? Moving to the music? Where I came from it was all very controlled emotions. Hands folded. Head bowed. Lots of silence. Maybe a few tears (of guilt) here and there, but no way did I ever in my life see anyone raise their hands to Jesus. And although I confess it was "too much" for me, I did find myself holding back tears and choking down a huge lump in my throat.

We went back to our regular (comfortable) church, but something started nagging in us to pop into that little church about once a month. We blamed it on convenience. Each time we attended, we got a little more comfortable. And when our son would visit us from college on the weekends, we took him there (more kids his age) and he loved it. In fact, he went back to college and found a similar church where he now attends regularly.

A few months later, I felt brave. Just from experiencing what these people were doing, I told Tim that I wanted to start praying together, every single night, no matter what, at dinnertime. OUT LOUD. Even if we were in a restaurant (my grandparents did this when I was a kid, and I was so embarrassed). Well, Tim is used to me and these things. Holy smokes. "OK," he says.

If you've read my blogs, you know that Tim can really say a beautiful prayer, but out loud, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? I chimed in that I would help, that I would say the prayer every three days, and if he was stuck, I would add to it. Mind you, I did not grow up with women having any role or presence in the worship service, none whatsoever, so for me to utter a prayer, it was scary (especially because Tim is so eloquent).

I could not remember the last time I said a prayer out loud. Maybe when I was two years old at my grandparents table? But, recently I have been moved, and as I expressed to my beloved husband, "the world is upside down. Times are different, like we've never seen before. I want to know what you are thinking, what is important to you, what is on your mind. Please share it with me."

So, this year we did another brand new thing in our 30-year relationship. We began the journey of praying together every day. At first, it was so awkward. After all these years of being married, I will admit I was almost embarrassed. We stumbled, we rambled, we had extra long pauses, we said the same thing twice. And then, with a little practice, we started getting really comfortable, less self-conscious and good at expressing our thoughts. Too good. So good that one night, after a stressful day, we both found ourselves in tears. It was humbling. "I need thee, oh I need thee, every hour I need thee."

A few months later, on one miraculous day, before the salutation "Dear God" was uttered, Tim and I looked at each other and instead of holding hands, we bravely turned them up and opened them to receive His blessing. It was so hard, yet so easy. In all my years, I had never done that. I sobbed. It felt as though I had missed out on 57 years of adoration.

Today we pray for our country, our President, our future President (whomever that might be), we pray for the chaos in the middle east, the thousands of victims who are persecuted and executed because of their faith. On a personal level we pray for creativity, excellence, wisdom, energy, we pray for our children, our marriage, our business, you . . . our fans. There is so much to be said.

Last night we sat down and almost forgot about our new daily activity.  I said, "oh . . . our prayer . . . " It was silent for about 30 seconds. I looked up and said "is it my turn?" Tim whispered, "no, I'm just praying to say a good prayer tonight."  I confess. I may have lovingly giggled. That one sentence totally describes Tim. Never have I met anyone so excellent.

So . . . maybe one day I will be comfortable enough to raise my hands in a church service. Maybe not. In the meantime, I do love our three-minute daily ritual. And there was a surprise for me in all of this. I love good conversation. Prayer might just be the highest level of intimate daily conversation you can have with your partner.

And what woman doesn't just love that?

Tim and Lorie Line visit River Valley Church at least once a month, in Minnetrista, MN. The staff hasn't quite yet figured out who they are ("you're a piano player?"), but the friendly greeter, Zeus, was most recently promoted to the campus pastor. Last Sunday, on their way out he handed them his card and asked if he could get to know them better. The Lines are going to invite him over to their home for coffee soon. Won't that be a fun day.

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